"I Forgive You... kinda..."

It's easy to throw out a quick, "I forgive you" when someone apologizes. But forgiveness like a quick switch can ignore the hurt. Unfortunately, if this is how you forgive, those constant hurts are not going to go away and will most likely get worse.

It's easy to go to the cave when someone says or does something against you. It seems better to pretend the hurt doesn’t matter or isn’t serious. Yet going to the cave is going to wear you out and potentially lead you to emotionally explode at someone someday.

It's easy to forgive someone when they are sorry, really sorry. If they hurt as bad as you did then you can forgive them. This kind of forgiveness wants the offender brought to a personal version of justice. But who is to say that they suffered enough given the circumstances. 

Why do we live in this land of "mostly forgiving"? Why do we find it so hard to forgive and to put the past all the way behind us? Did Jesus say, "As God has mostly forgiven you, so you, too, must mostly forgive others"? No, no he didn’t say that. The Bible says, "God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  - Romans 5:8

We are not “mostly forgiven” but completely forgiven. See, God calls us sinners, but then chooses to release us from the eternal consequences – doing this not just for one person but the world. (John 3:16) There is not a soul in the entire world which God has not already absolved from all sin – even the person, the family member, the neighbor, the ex-friend who hurt you. Are you starting to understand forgiveness?

Real Forgiveness:

• Forgiveness is honest. God is not asking you to allow the offense to occur repeatedly, to be a victim, or even to get along with the offender. He is asking you to talk about the problem and put it all on the table even if the offender doesn’t ask for forgiveness or even if you can’t do it face to face anymore.

• Forgiveness is to release. Let it go – freely and wholeheartedly. It has very little to do with feelings or even trust. Forgiveness is simply a decision to let go of our regrets and our own view of justice. We don’t need the person who hurt us to feel our pain – Jesus already did. We release them because we are released. It is entirely freeing.

• Forgiveness is a process, not an event. It takes time to work through emotional problems before we truly forgive. Allow that time. Don’t rush through it to superficially feel better but persist in it. Deal properly with the past, to avoid being stuck there; instead, unhook from the pain and injustice from your past and move forward.

Who is God leading you to forgive this week?