I
inherited great characteristics from both of my parents. My dad is a hard
worker, do anything for you, nice kind of guy (just like his father before
him). My mom is a hard worker with an easy going, entertaining personality. She
loves to have people laugh (just like her mother before her).Unfortunately,
these characteristics also have a dark side. The dark side from my dad is
spending too much time on projects and saying yes to helping everyone else and
missing out on time with my family. I always want to be nice and it’s hard to
confront someone stuck in a sin or disagree with something when you are trying
to be the nice guy. The dark side from my mom is that sometimes the desire for
smiles and happiness blows past facing and dealing with some harsh realities
that need to be worked through.
I
had a good childhood, went to great schools, attended church, was nice and
helpful to anyone who needed it but these surface niceties didn’t take away the
things below the surface of my iceberg. Even the good character traits handed
down to us by our parents are tainted and corrupted with sin. I love my parents
and have the greatest respect for them but they, like me, are sinners in need
of a Savior. They passed that need onto me.
What
I just shared with you is the way I am exploring the past to identify and deal
with the broken ways I respond to life. A handy tool to help you do the same is
called a genogram. A genogram is a way
of drawing a family tree that looks at info about family members and their
relationships over two to three generations. It is through a genogram that we
can identify sinful traits and be in a better position as we strive for
thankful living.
To get a handle on what this looks you
can breeze through Genesis 12-50 and take a look at one familiar family tree of
the Old Testament to identify sinful traits that are passed down for at least
four generations.
The Bible considers Abraham the
father of faith. God promised he would be made into a great nation and that
through his offspring the whole world would be blessed. Yet there are some
things about Abraham that you would not want to emulate. He had a couple
moments where he was afraid and thought it easier to lie to get what he wanted.
One time he was traveling through Egypt and he said to his wife, “Say you are my
sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared
because of you.” (Gen. 12:12-13) As Abraham continued to travel throughout
the land he continued in his deceptive way instead of trusting the Lord. He
had his wife lie for him when they traveled so that he would be treated well by
the kings of the land.
Abraham’s lies did not just impact
his wife but also that next generation. Abraham’s son Isaac did the same thing.
“When the men of that place asked him about
his wife, he said, “She is my sister,” because he was afraid to say, “She is my
wife.” He thought, “The men of this place might kill me on account of Rebekah,
because she is beautiful.” (Gen. 26:7) The lies of the family
continue to intensify in Isaac’s marriage especially when it came to which
child would receive the birthright. Their son Jacob increased the level of sin
and manipulation by lying consistently to almost everyone with whom he was in a
relationship. By the fourth generation, it reaches the point where ten sons
fake the death of the father’s favorite son and sell him into slavery and live
out the lie for years. This
genogram models how Abraham’s sins were copied and intensified through the next
generations. This genogram illustrates how Joseph and his brothers became the
way they did. They had faith in the true God passed down to them – great! They
also had a generational sin of lying passed down to them too.
If this is what someone as great as
Abraham’s genogram looked like just imagine what you will find in your
genogram. You can create something similar for your own benefit. Understand how
your parents and grandparents have influenced you – positively and negatively. Not
as a way to pass the blame of your current circumstances but to better
understand what maybe has to change with you. Consider doing a Genogram for
yourself. Here is an example of how to go about this based on the book
Emotionally Healthy Church by Peter Scazzero. (One page has Abraham’s example of
a genogram on top and the other page has questions to help put some thoughtful
characteristics to each generation.)
Any family traits you had promised yourself
you would never live out that are finding their way into your life?
-Pastor Eric Hansen, Discipleship Pastor
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