Listen well. Love well.

In one well-documented statistic, twenty percent of Americans say they don’t know any Christians.  People become willing to consider Jesus when they like and trust the Christians they know.  People need to know us before they can trust us.  And they need to trust us before they’ll go to church with us.  

Who do you know who is far from Jesus?  Can you easily come up with their names?  If you are having trouble trying to identify a non-Christian friend, use this tool: 

Identify a non-Christian individual that you would like to connect with.  Talk to God about him or her on a daily basis.  Then ask God to give you an opportunity to connect.  When you do connect, ask good questions.  Ask about family, job, affinities (what they like to do.), etc.  These are all ways to listen to their hopes and dreams and get to know their story.  Then share your story and what Jesus has done for you.

Jesus had small conversations...on big subjects.  That’s where He earned people’s trust. That’s where we’ll earn it, too.  That's how trust is built.  Listen well.  Love well.  "I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means some might be saved" (1 Corinthians 9:22).

I have a friend who I think might be looking at porn – what should I do (or not do)?

Talk to your friend about it. Tell the person why you suspect he or she might be viewing porn and make it clear you are concerned and want to help. Tell the person that he or she is forgiven through Christ. Recommend this website. Offer to be an accountability partner. Offer to help the person find the right people that can help him or her (pastors, Christian counselors, etc). Pray for your friend often.

Do not minimize or rationalize the sin. (If the person is in denial, help him or her understand how serious the sin is.) On the other hand, do not condemn the person. Do not act as if the sin is unforgivable or worse than all other sins that God detests (pride, selfishness, etc.).

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I found this helpful resource on the website Conquerors Through Christ. They have tons of great resources to help parents, friends, and family who are caught in pornography addiction. 

There is help and healing in Jesus,

Pastor Hansen