The crisis of manhood began long before we were born and it influences every issue we’d name if we were to describe what it means to be a man -- what it means to be a man of God. So today we’re going to hit four areas as we talk about what it takes to be a REAL man. The R stands for a real man being responsible. The E stands for a real man being evangelical. The A stands for a real man being available. And the L stands for a real man being a leader.
Women, what do you think about how we, as men, are doing as
leaders? Are we doing well? Some people have different definitions of
what it means to be a leader. We need to
see what God intends for biblical male leadership. To do that, we need to go back to the
beginning, back to Genesis, chapter 2, starting with verse 18. “The
LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” You might notice from Genesis chapter 1 that
after each day in the days of creation, God said it was good. This is the only time in all of that creating
process that God said, “It’s not good”
and that is when he created the man! I’m
just kidding! Actually, it was when God
knew that the man was alone.
But Adam didn’t know that.
So what did God do? Read verses
19-20a, “Now the LORD God had formed out
of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he
would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its
name. So the man gave names to all the
livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.” Talk about a day’s work! Naming every animal?! Adam demonstrated his headship over the
natural world by doing that! But at the
end of the day, Adam looked around and realized that he was the only human
being! It was then that he realized that
he was all alone! It was then that God performed
the world’s first surgery and took a bone from Adam and made the world’s first
woman and brought her to Adam. I’m sure
it was only after he picked his jaw up off the ground, because she was drop
dead gorgeous, that he was able to say in verse 23, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called
woman, for she was taken out of man.”
The observation we need to make from all of that is this -- at creation, man received headship from God. Let me give you a definition of headship to chew on. In a partnership of spiritually equal human beings (man and woman) the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God-glorifying direction.
What evidence is there of man’s headship? The creation record tells us man was created first. It also records for us that it is man to whom God looks as the leader. That was man’s assignment. Adam failed in the assignment. Let’s move on into Genesis, chapter 3. Look at verse 6: “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate it.” Now we can’t prove it beyond any doubt, but I tend to agree that the whole time Adam’s beloved was being addressed by Satan, Adam stood right there and he didn’t say anything! He didn’t lead his wife with truth!
What we draw from that is simply this: As a man, as our first father, and as an influence in our lives through inherited sin, Adam abdicated and men have leaned toward abdication ever since. But Adam’s abdication continued. Genesis chapter 3:8-15 tells us that God finds them, confronts them and again -- zero leadership. No ownership of sin. No responsibility! So what did we inherit from our first father? Obviously, a sinful nature! But when it comes to manhood, our sinful nature brims over with selfishness, with the urge to have my desires fulfilled! I want what I want, when I want it. I want to be served. I run from responsibility. I blame others for problems. I ditch the truth.
The observation we need to make from all of that is this -- at creation, man received headship from God. Let me give you a definition of headship to chew on. In a partnership of spiritually equal human beings (man and woman) the man bears the primary responsibility to lead the partnership in a God-glorifying direction.
What evidence is there of man’s headship? The creation record tells us man was created first. It also records for us that it is man to whom God looks as the leader. That was man’s assignment. Adam failed in the assignment. Let’s move on into Genesis, chapter 3. Look at verse 6: “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate it.” Now we can’t prove it beyond any doubt, but I tend to agree that the whole time Adam’s beloved was being addressed by Satan, Adam stood right there and he didn’t say anything! He didn’t lead his wife with truth!
What we draw from that is simply this: As a man, as our first father, and as an influence in our lives through inherited sin, Adam abdicated and men have leaned toward abdication ever since. But Adam’s abdication continued. Genesis chapter 3:8-15 tells us that God finds them, confronts them and again -- zero leadership. No ownership of sin. No responsibility! So what did we inherit from our first father? Obviously, a sinful nature! But when it comes to manhood, our sinful nature brims over with selfishness, with the urge to have my desires fulfilled! I want what I want, when I want it. I want to be served. I run from responsibility. I blame others for problems. I ditch the truth.
Real men are Responsible!
That means that like Adam, we are responsible to God and we are
responsible for our actions. That means
that we own up when we are at fault. We
confess our sins to our God whom we know took every one of them to the cross
and the empty grave for our forgiveness.
But we’re not just responsible for ourselves. We’re responsible to our families, our
co-workers, our neighbors, and especially our significant others. We’re responsible to lead them closer to
Jesus. That was God’s design for men right
from the beginning!
Now that we’ve discovered what biblical male headship is all about. Now let’s focus on the E of REAL men. And that is Evangelical. That’s not to be confused with a major branch of Christianity called Evangelicals. No, an evangelical man is what that term literally means and that is gospel-centered. In other words everything we say and everything we do is to be focused on Jesus, because He is our one and only Savior!
Now that we’ve discovered what biblical male headship is all about. Now let’s focus on the E of REAL men. And that is Evangelical. That’s not to be confused with a major branch of Christianity called Evangelicals. No, an evangelical man is what that term literally means and that is gospel-centered. In other words everything we say and everything we do is to be focused on Jesus, because He is our one and only Savior!
Listen to how Paul put it in verse 8 of 1 Thessalonians
chapter 2. He said, “We loved you so much that we were delighted
to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you
had become so dear to us.” (vs. 8)
Paul’s life revolved around Jesus.
Everything he said and everything he did was focused on Jesus and
sharing Jesus with others. Now
thankfully we have many men who are like that here at St. Mark. But I’d like to hold up one as an
example. He used to be on our Ministry
Governing Board and served as our School Board chairman, but now because of
cancer he is home with Jesus in heaven.
In the midst of his illness, he was an incredible example of being
evangelical. He pointed people to Jesus
every chance he got! He continued to
remember and live Jesus’ love in everything he said and did! Guys, it’s our job to be evangelical, focused
on Jesus so that Jesus is evident in our lives and impacting everyone around us
with His love!
Look at verse 9. “Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and
hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while
we preached the gospel of God to you.” (vs. 9) Most likely you don't know this about
Greek culture in those days, but most Greek men didn't like hard labor. In fact, they viewed it as something that
only the slaves were supposed to do. But
Paul did the exact opposite. He worked
hard. Most likely, he spent all day
sharing the gospel. And then at night he
would work hard at making tents, which is what he grew up doing, so that he
wouldn't be a financial burden to the mission congregations he started.
Paul served as an example to the
men then and now. Real men work
hard. But here's the difference. Real men need to remember that we work hard
not to make a great name or to make a lot of money, but real men work hard for
our families and for God. If our job
becomes our god, that's no good! If our
job sacrifices our families, that's no good!
The job should always serve God and the family, not the reverse! That’s what the A in REAL men is all
about. The A in REAL men is Available. Guys, be available for the people around
you! Be there for the people who need
you! Don’t make your job or your hobbies
an excuse not to be involved in your family’s life! They need you!
That brings us to the L of REAL men and that is
Leadership. The most dramatic impact of
our culture that leads to confusion about male leadership is what’s been called
the “fatherless” generations. Listen to
this quote: The trend likely began with
WW II -- first fathers went off to war -- those who returned, returned to work
away from home 50 or more hours a week; they powered the engine of the economic
miracle of the 1950’s. What was the
result of dads being gone? What do you
think? Divorce became acceptable,
materialism ran rampant! Families were
being sacrificed on the altar of success.
Sadly in this present generation
60-70% of children spend part of their childhood without a father present. 1/3 of live births are to unmarried women. Over a million men with children under 18 are
in prison. Every year, thousands of
children lose their fathers to accidents or illnesses.” Where do you go to make up for the absence of
a father’s love and influence?
Now for those who are in single mom families, be thankful
for the mom you have. And don’t
panic! Obviously, you still have a
heavenly Father who can and does help you in those moments when a dad would
really be nice to have around. All is
not lost just because you are in a single parent family!
A few years back I had a man arrive in my office who was
completely broken. His wife threw him
out of their house and out of her and their children’s lives. He was an addict of every kind, addicted to
alcohol, drugs and more. He was broken
because he had pursued only his own sinful desires, not once thinking about the
consequences for himself and his family.
Instead of being responsible, he was reprehensible. Instead of being evangelical, he was
egotistical. Instead of being available,
he abdicated his role as a leader!
I had the privilege of pointing him to these verses in 1
Thessalonians 2. Specifically verses 10 to
12. “You are witnesses and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless
we were among you who believed. For you know
that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children,
encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls
you into his kingdom and glory.” Before
I could finish, he said, “How can I be
that?” You know what I said? “You
can’t! But Jesus can! The whole reason why Jesus came to this
earth was to sacrifice himself to pay the penalty for our sins of abdicating,
egotistical behavior! That man broke
down sobbing in the office. He had
failed. Failed God, himself and his
family! But right then and there I had
the privilege of pointing him to the bloody cross and the empty grave! He had failed. No denying that. But Jesus didn’t. He had screwed up big time. But Jesus saves. He was forgiven. So are you.
So am I.
His logical question of course was this: “How can I possibly put things back together
again?” You know what I told
him? “Be a REAL man! Be a leader like
Jesus!” And then I pointed him to
Ephesians chapter 5, verse 25, “Husbands,
love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her.”
(Ephesians 5:25) Guys, let me ask you, what does that verse mean for you and
me? It means that we are to lead, love and
sacrifice for our families, just like Jesus did for us!
Do you sometimes feel like you are a failure with that? I do!
Thank God for Jesus! And then
take his cue! He’s the leader we should
be following! By
the way, that’s exactly what Paul said in Ephesians 5, verses one and two, "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly
loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave
himself up us.” (Ephesians 5:1-2)
Real men know how to follow Jesus so that we can lead
everyone else to do the same! Our number
one responsibility as men is to lead our families closer to God and we can’t do
that without following Jesus! Real
men lead by following! Our families and
our culture depend on it! The women
around us need to have REAL men who encourage them, not dominate them; who love
them, not desire them; who urge them to live lives worthy of God’s calling and
who train our children to become who God wants them to be!
By
the way, the man I referred to before, by God’s grace, has become a REAL
man! He’s a sacrificial, loving, God
following leader! He’s back together
with his wife. They’ve had another child
together. He’s the vice president of
their congregation and he has become a REAL man! I thank God for the
REAL men in my life – my dad, my father-in-law and some of my best friends. If you are a man, it’s time to be REAL.
-Pastor Chris Johnson, Outreach and Young Adult Pastor
